As I walked into work one morning last week with a beautiful song ringing in my ears from my ipod, a tear trickled down my face and I realised why my heart has been heavy lately as the song I was listening to made me think of Melly and the fact that as exciting as this journey is for me in particular it is not without my heart being torn as I leave behind one of the most precious gifts I have been given in my lifetime ~ my beautiful daughter. I am definately at the age where parents such as ourselves experience what is dubbed the 'empty nest syndrome' and even though we are moving closer to Bill's eldest daughter Bre, Jason and our gorgeous grandchildren and am thrilled that our son Matt is coming along for a while I am painfully aware I am leaving behind 'my baby' and its probably the hardest thing I have had to do. So I'm dedicating this post to 'My Melly' in the form of a letter from her Mumma.
My dearest Mel,
its been 10 months since we have not lived in the same household already. It was so very hard for me to walk out that door then and leave you behind but I know that you are incredibly happy now in your own place, our old home, the home you grew up in and I can see that it makes you happy as it did for me too. It gives me great comfort also knowing that you are there, looking after it until the time comes for us to let it go. Dont worry it wont be for a while, I love what you have done with it, you have added your own special touches and style and made it such a beautiful home. Thankyou for taking care of our Tammy, it means a lot to me to know she will see her days out in the only home she has known.
There are so many things which remind me of you that I am taking with me to keep you close, teacups comes to mind, bunting, incense & aromatherapy oils, and of course the birdcages, all of which I am planning to have at my new house so that you are never really that far away. You have inspired me to grow my own vegies and I plan to get back to painting to see if I still love it like I used to. Mel, in your short life, you have taught me so much and this is what I plan to do with my life at 'my beach retreat' ~live it as its meant to be lived, with purpose and passion.
Dont you worry...with technology as it is, we are never far away from each other and as usual each night before I go to sleep I ask my 'Angels' to watch over you as I have every day since you were born.
I know that you are saddened that we have chosen not to live in Melbourne as we grow older but I hope that one day you will realise what a wonderful thing we got to do in our later years & that is to realise our dreams. Its something I have tried very hard to instill in you as you have become an adult, that life is all about what we are doing right now, working out what it is that makes you smile every day, dreaming large and often, and taking steps each day to make those dreams come true. I want for you what we are doing now. I want for you everything you imagine your life could be. I want you to not compromise your soul for what it is that you truly desire. And Melly, I believe in you enough to know, you are such a strong woman who is beautiful inside and out, that you will persue your dreams. Life has just begun for you, you have a whole exciting, wonderful life ahead of you, and I know that the gifts you have been given are very special and unique to you, they are what makes 'you' so special. Your talents and passions & gorgeous nature will be what shines out for the world to see, just you wait, it will all turn out perfectly in the right time.
As you know, logistically, we are not moving that far away...nothing a short train ride or drive up the highway wont fix. And I want you to know most of all, that whenever you need us, we will be there for you, just call or write, I can be on a train in an instant if need be. Yes we are leaving Melbourne, but are not leaving you. Its just an extention of what we have beeen doing over the past 10 months.
So, I plan to come and visit often, go to events and places together, have lots of coffee dates in the city and I plan for you to take 'vacation time' with us in our new home which of course will always be your home too. Life is full of transitions and changes Mel, and this is just one of those, not only for you but for me too. I know as the years go on, you will continue to inspire me as we share in the next chapters of each other's lives....I love you with all my heart and am so very, very proud to be your Mum.
With my love always, Mumma bear xx
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